Day 5...Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys

Are men in their twenties the new designer drug?

Seeing as my husband is in his late thirties, this could be a very difficult question for me to answer. I don't see why men in their twenties would be the new designer drug. Most of them haven't figured out their lives yet, which tells me that another piece of the puzzle, me, would not be in the best interest of the twenty-something guy if he was actually trying to figure it out.

However, I do kind of feel bad for the thirty-something women who don't have anyone because the thirty-something men want younger girls. Although, that trend is evident in twenty-something guys too. The one male friend of mine who is now in Alabama, went through quite a bit of jail bait before finding his new baby's mother, who is over the age of twenty-one, finally. When he was going through his jail bait phase, it was difficult to get together with him and whatever young girl he had attached to his arm. On several occasions, it felt as if my other male friend and I were going to have to chaperone at Chuck E. Cheese's if we wanted the company of our friend.

Day 4...Bay of Married Pigs

Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?

I don't know if I would call the seperation between the married world and the single world a cold war. It is more like an iron curtain. After being married for four years, I have realized that I do not hang out with any of my single friends anymore. In fact, they have become extremely foreign to me. I can no longer wrap my head around having drunken parties until two in the morning followed by a paranoid drive home and sex with a pseudo-stranger any longer.

I realized just this past month how different the mesh of friends becomes after your are married. My one male friend has flown the coup to Alabama with his new baby's mother, unmarried, and I hardly talk to him anymore. My other male friend has a domestic relationship, engaged, with a sweet girl who has two really cute kids. I see him on a monthly basis, but not with my husband or his fiance around most of the time. The other friends that I have are people who my husband knows, mostly paired off. The epiphany came to me when he decided that he wanted to have his guy friend over whom he hadn't seen in several years. Of course, I agreed to that. I thought, the hubby can occupy the living room drinking and catching up with his old bud and I can retreat to my bedroom and watch old movies or something. After a few hours it will be over and all will be as it was. Later in the day before the friend arrived, my hubby drops the bomb on me. The guy friend has informed my hubby that he intends to bring his girlfriend who my husband has never met or had knowledge of. Needless to say, I was not in the mood for a blind couples play date that night. I left my husband and his friend to catch up, the girl to sit quietly listening to them catch up, and I went happily to my mother's house to watch old movies. Of course, my husband explained to his buddy about my absence, but was not hesitant to tell me how much he thought that I would have gotten along with the girlfriend after he met her. I thought that women were supposed to make play dates for their husbands, not the other way around.

Day 3...1.02 Models and Mortals

Exactly how powerful is beauty?

It is safe to say that I have only met a few models in my lifetime. All of them women. Most of them dating friends of friends. None of them supermodels or even close. In fact, most of them were porn stars, amateur not anything spectacular. In my late teens and early twenties, beauty did not mean much. I was who I was an I was fine with it. Years later, I am married, thirty pounds over my "happy" weight, and beauty seems to make all the difference in the world.

I have a job that forces me to speak in a court room on more than just an occasion. No, unfortunately for me and my bank account, I am not a lawyer. However, in court, it seems that beauty plays a big hand in how "credible" a judge thinks that you are. Now, I cannot say that is a solid theory, but I can say that I have seen beauty work its magic in a courtroom. It seems that beauty has its effects in other places too. Especially in marriage and relationships.

It is a known fact that men's eyes tend to wander towards the fairer sex, other women. This becomes a problem when your self-esteem is in the toilet and your mind has convinced you that what you are seeing in the mirror every morning really does belong to you...and is not that wonderful. It is especially a big problem when the woman that your husband looks at can be considered, by your mind, to be more attractive than you are. I'd say that a glance at another woman, and possibly the thought process that goes along with that glance in the mirror, makes a pretty powerful mistress.s

Day 2...1.01 Sex and the City

Cupid has flown the co-op.

Though I do not really believe that Cupid plays a hand in many instances of love and relationships, I once found myself talking to Brian Howe, lead singer of Bad Company, about Cupid while serving him a glass of wine. The conversation played out to only include the reason for Cupid's nudity. In fact, I don't believe that his part in love was actually discussed.

During my series of relationships before I met my husband, it seemed that Cupid was everywhere. I would fall into a fight with one guy only to fall into a relationship with another. Of course, I didn't have a foursome at this time either. My close friends included two very different men. One of these men went down the same relationship rollercoaster as I did. Though his conquests were typically a very diverse group, whereas mine where pretty similar to one another in several ways. The other male friend was single most of the time and then settled with one girl about the same time that I settled with my one guy.

I think that it is possible that Cupid, if he works at all, only works in groups and only when we allow him to.

Day 1...Gathering Topics

I set out on this venture with great intentions. Sex and the City was the one show that my mother, sister, and I all stopped to watch together when we first discovered it, which was in my late teens and early twenties. Though at that point, I didn't have a lot of female friends, certainly not enough of them to create a foursome like the women on the show, it was something that we could all relate to. Now, in my late twenties, I find myself still without the foursome of friends, but able to venture to the movie theatre with my mother, sister, and grandmother to watch the much needed theatrical versions of the no-longer aired on HBO show. In light of that, I guess I have found a foursome.

I started watching the first season of Sex and the City today to gather the topics, so that I could write the married, twenty-something perspective on them. Not only did I not realize how difficult it would be to gather all 94 topics, which does not include the two movies, but I also didn't realize that some of the topics might not be easy for me to write about because I am married and twenty-something. However, I have decided to suck it up and drive on in this endeavor. And who knows, maybe someone will read them.